Thots from Amit

2010-01-09T15:46:00.000-08:00

Why cant your dearest ones around you be more considerate, unselfish and tolerant. Its hard to see that ppl around you feel so insecure that they wont let you do things which you like and they dislike. I am not saying in any way that they are not loving and caring but why cant they be just happy with things with which you are. They just tend to fall for the easier option that is force you to do with what they like instead of trying to like what they like. I have never been able to understand this particular human nature. With every day it feels that ppl have less and less patience and more and more greed - not for money but for need to get things done the way they want.
I just hope that they start feeling for their loved ones, keep their insecurity aside and try and find happiness in their loved ones happiness. Probably its asking too much in this selfish world.

2007-03-22T14:06:00.000-07:00

Dont even remember now when was the last time, when I had posted something here...May be sometime in the fag end of the year 2005...But I guess I have been very busy after that and I dont think I have felt this bad in the past 2-3 years...Today has been miserable...Close to worst day of my life...Havent felt like this and blog comes handy to give a vent to your feelings...Am I missing my freinds so dearly today? U bet...So many of these close friends but none of them here to share my feelings, to whom I can talk to, to whom I can relate to...Cant believe....It has always been like this...When you need somebody the most, at that time only, you wont find them there...I want to puke but cant even puke, nothings coming out...

Here I am blogging so that I can let at least something out...It seems some software is acting like a good friend of mine...Its letting me do, what I wanna do...only if I could record here, only if I could speak instead of typing...How I wish I was not in this country...How I wish I was at home...Anyways, dont think I can do much about it, knowing very well that next few days are going to be worse...Need to work on my MBA course as well...Dunno how am I gonna do that...Too much stress for me to handle...

Havent said a thing about the horrible episode which made me feel like that but I dont think I can write anything about it...I dont think I can share this with the software or with some random readers (if there are any)...

Am I going to feel good now once I have written something here...No I dont think so...Bloddy feeling is still there...Time I guess is the only thing which might improve things but cant say that for at least a month because things are going to continue like this for at least a month...And yes I cant do anything about them....They will stay like this sadly...Lets see what happens after a month...

God Please give me some strength to handle this...Havent faced antyhing even remotely close to this...And please help those who desperately need it, give them something to cheer about, give them the strength to deal with it and give them enough power to say and do what they wanna say and do...

Amen!

Diwali and its History.

2005-11-01T12:13:00.000-08:00

I refrain from posting sucn general articles but somehow I want to post this. Just some
information about DIWALI and its history. Courtsey Google. Compiled from different sites :-)

Diwali is a five day Hindu festival that occurs on the fifteenth day of Kartika (October-November). The word "Diwali" means "rows of lighted lamps," and the celebration is often referred to as the "Festival of Lights" much in the same way the Jewish holiday of Hannukah is referred to as the "Festival of Lights." Diwali is by far the most glamorous and important festival celebrated in India today.

The History of Diwali

Diwali celebrates the victory of good over evil -- and the glory of light. This festival commemorates Lord Rama's return to his kingdom Ayodhya after completing his 14-year exile.

During Diwali, homes are thoroughly cleaned and windows are opened to welcome Laksmi, the Hindu goddess of wealth, and candles and lamps are lit as a greeting to Laksmi. Gifts are exchanged and festive meals are prepared, and the celebration means as much to Hindus as Christmas does to Christians.

The Five Days of Diwali

Because there are many regions in India, there are many different manifestations of the Diwali festival. Uniting all members of the community, young and old, rich and poor, the lighting of the lamps represents a way of paying homage to God for health, wealth, knowledge, peace and fame. Diwali is celebrated for five days, each day having its own varied significance, rituals and myths.

The first day is called Dhanteras or Dhantryaodashi, which falls on the thirteenth day of the month of Ashwin. As the story goes, it was foretold that the son of King Hima was doomed to die by snake-bite. His wife lit innumerable lamps and laid ornaments and gold coins in a large heap at the entrance of her husband's bedroom. When Yam, the god of Death, arrived in the form of a serpent the lights blinded him and he could not enter the prince's chamber. The serpent climbed the heap of the ornaments and coins and listened as the prince’s wife sang songs throughout the night. In the morning Yam went away quietly and the prince was saved. This day of Dhanteras came to be known as the day of "Yamadeepdaan" and lamps are kept burning throughout the night in reverential adoration to Yam, the god of Death.

The second day is called Narka-Chaturdashi or Chhoti Diwali and falls on the fourteenth day of the month of Ashwin. According to legend, the mighty power of King Bali of the netherworld had become a threat to the gods. To curb his powers Lord Vishnu visited him disguised as a small boy and begged him to give him only that much land which he could cover with his three steps. Known for his philanthropy King Bali proudly granted him his wish. So with his first step Lord Vishnu covered the entire heaven and with the second step the entire earth and asked Bali where to place his third step. Bali offered his head and placing his foot on his head Vishnu pushed him down to the underworld. Out of generosity Vishnu allowed Bali to return to earth once a year to light millions of lamps to dispel the darkness and ignorance and spread the radiance of love and wisdom.

The third day of the festival of Diwali is the most important day of Lakshmi-Puja (also known as Chopada-Puja) and is devoted to the appeasement of the goddess Lakshmi. The day of Lakshmi-Puja falls on the dark night of Amavasya. It is believed that on this auspicious day Lord Krishna discarded his body. Another variation is the story of a small boy Nichiketa who believed that Yam, the god of Death was as black as the dark night of Amavasya. He met Yam and was puzzled by Yam's calm countenance and dignified stature. Yam explained to Nichiketa that only by passing through the darkness of death, can man see the light and his soul become immortal. It was then that Nichiketa realized the importance of life and significance of death.

The fourth day falls on the first day of the lunar New Year and is called Padwa or Varsha Pratipada, marking the coronation of King Vikramaditya. As per legend, the people of Gokul used to celebrate a festival in honor of Lord Indra and worshipped him after the end of every monsoon season. One year the young Krishna stopped the offering of prayers to Lord Indra who in anger sent a deluge to submerge Gokul. Krishna saved Gokul by lifting up the Govardhan Mountain and holding it over the people as an umbrella. This day is also observed as Annakoot and prayers are offered in the temples.

Worshippers are encouraged to remove anger, hate, and jealousy from their lives.

The fifth and final day of Diwali is Bhaiya-Dooj. This day is observed as a symbol of love between sisters and brothers. It is believed that on this day Yamraj, the god of Death, visited his sister Yami and she placed tilak on his forehead. They ate, talked and enjoyed the day together and exchanged special gifts as a token of their love for each other. Yamraj declared that anyone who receives tilak from his sister on this day will be blessed.

Me and Diwali

2005-11-01T12:08:00.000-08:00

I have been very happy lately. India winning! Big happiness...Aish's birthday approaching (rather its today 1st of Nov)...Happy Birthday Aish....N then last but the most imp one DIWALI...Favourite festival still out of last 8 Diwalis I have spent just 3 at home. Kinda sucks. Why cant I be where I want to be when I like?

Spoke to so many ppl yesterday and wished them Happy Diwali. Felt so nice and was very good talking to all my family members and few of my close friends. But when I finally I spoke to my mom...It became so difficult for me as well as my mom. This is one moment, one day, one time when I feel heavy in my heart talking to my mom over the phone. I miss her so much. When I did it for the first time when I went out for my studies I broke, i broke down heavily and cried (yes right) and cried so much over the phone. I had never ever realized the importance of this festival when I was at home. When everything so natural and there was nothing I thot could go different. My first year away from home made me feel, this was what I had been taking for grated. Guess you realize the importance of somethng when its not with you. Year after year sometimes I managed to spend this festival of Lights at home and sometimes in desolate loneliness. This is the time when I feel altogether a different kind of solitude. Kind of feeling which comes only on this day and on no other day. May be will never be able to put in words but very different lonliness.

This time again when I spoke to her I tried hard not to do anything stupid which would make her break down over the phone. Normally when I speak to my mom its like for min 30 minutes every alternate day. I know cant talk different things on alternate days so we speak about the same things :-). But this time with consensus we kept the phone down in exactly 1 min. Both of us fearing the same thing. Known to both of us but not to be spoken about. There are somethings best left undiscussed.

Sometimes I just wonder, for how long can this go on? Why do I feel the way I feel? Anyways I dont think we have the answers for all the questions in this world....Something just dont have any answers. They are because they are. No why and now how...

Tagged

2005-10-18T16:24:00.000-07:00

Well was tagged by Deepthi(first comments on my blog were from her). Somehow finished it. Took a long time though:-)

Seven Things you want to do before you die:

Paragliding : Got a chance once but got scared n changed my plans.
Bungee Jumping: Havent got a chance till now but i know first time I will be scared and I may come back without doing it.
Adopt a child: No particular reason for this. Just wanna do it.
Open a free school in a village: Well everytime I read some news that so many percent children have no access to even kindergarten. Makes me feel sad. Just want to do my part. Have started with 2 boys now.:-)
Not do anything for 3 months. Just tea, tv and sleep: I m tired of this fast paced life.
Have enough money in hands so that I dont have to think twice before buying anything (reasonable :-)): Even If I have to buy a shirt costing $100. I think n think n think and then finally decide not to.
Be diplomatic: Being straight forward is bad at times. Speaking your heart out is not always advisable.

Seven Things you can do :

Cook- Have learnt it recently after coming to US.
Live alone or shall i say live away from home.
Spend money on others.
Cry.
Make fool of myself and laugh at myself.
Play almost any kind of game/sport.
Talk incessantly if I want to.- Lately developed habit

Seven Things you can't do:

Lie and Cheat - Is there any other way through which one can cheat ?
Be very focussed and do what I plan to do.
Swimming - Can just float without breathing for some time.
Not get upset with India's defeat in cricket- I dont know why but bloddy thing still pains.
When I sneeze, just sneeze once- Minimum number is 2. Just cant have one.
Write Poems though I would have loved to.
Save enough.

Seven Things you say most:

F***. Its always used as an exclaimation mark. When I have to show this aghasted emotion.
Sir: To address anybody.
Chalo then: Last line in my mails. Last sentence if i m going out of somewhere.
Mast: Anything thats good.
I dont know: When I dont know anything or when I dont want to talk.
Kya chal raha hain: Whats happening.
Some hindi slangs which are not too good to hear. I dont think social sanctity of this website allows me write it here or not.

Seven Things that attract you to the opposite sex:

Gait and Looks - Hmmmmmmmmm.
Voluptuousness - My kind is not slim. Should have some wt where it matters.
Smile - This just puts me in mood anytime.
Smartness and Sense of humour - Cant do without this.
No hair please other than on the head. - It just turns me off.
Perfume- This is really important. Good mesmerizing odour.
Dressing Sense - She has to be very well dressed. She should know what looks good on her and what not.

Seven Celebrity crushes:
There are lots of them. Virtually everybody but still I'll try n name few who are right on top of that list.

Aishwarya Rai:Nothing to say- common choice.
Nandita Das: She has some best features in the town.
Steffi Graf- My first TV crush.
Rati Agnihotri - If she says yes today I will marry her. ya even today.
Jennifer Lopez - I love her ___.
Whirlpool Ad female(Cant recall her name) - Used to come in these whirpool ads with 2 kids and a hubby. May be her name is Gayathri.
Latest one Sania Mirza - She is cool and makes her own fashion statements.

Seven People you want to tag:
Cant finish this off. Instead will write about
Seven Habits which I dont appreciate

Self bragging
'Cant say NO' habit.
Intellectual Masturbation - Intellectual masturbation can be defined as: 1. The act of satisfying one’s ego through statements intended only to show off one’s intelligence. 2. Acting like a know-it-all jerk that no one likes to listen to and everyone wishes would just shut up. Courtsey this.
Diplomacy.- Ya I know I want learn this before I die.
Talking bad behind somebody's back.
Leaving the kitchen dirty after cooking food - Yes it freaks me out when I have to first clean the kitchen before cooking.
Unnecessary Show off.

6 more months...

2005-10-05T15:14:00.000-07:00

Somehow my company was able to convince the client that I should be here for another 6 months (till the time group is finally merged into Wachovia). And now here I m doing nothing currently and wont do anything for another 6 months. I am sick and tired of this thing. My manager just wants money out of the account without being concerned abt the fact that there is no work. What he sees is there are 6 applications and somebody should be there to take care of them irrespective of the fact that they are not being used extensively now and neither do we get any defects in those applications. Money is all what counts. I guess that is the attitude of all the software companies in India.

Its more than a year since I have landed here and I have not done any sort of coding (past 6 months). I have almost forgot the most basics of my technology and I feel I m already useless if I keep working on the same thing. The kind of work I m doing here is just ananlysis, meetings and Requirements gathering. Now these are the only things I can do.

Now I m thinking of going back to India once this project finishes that is after 6 months. No its not that my company wants me to go back but I feel its enough n I need to go back to sweet sweet home (though I know that I wont be living there.). But the feel is enough. :-)Now here is the real question what am I gonna do there? With the remaining skill I have I can only be the pain and not of any gain to my colleagues back in India. Does everybody who goes back to India goes thru the same process? Finally adapts gradually to the demands. Hopefully everything should go fine and I should be back in India 6 months from now...

Actually not able to make up mind that should I really go back to India. I have a very good life here. No work only araam and pretty good savings. Its really difficult when you have to choose one in mind and heart. Very difficult choice to make. In my case mind normally wins but I m doubtful this time. Will have to wait for 6 months to see which one comes triumphant.

Fear of being Fired.

2005-09-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

I am working for a client called **** in a division called International Banking Group. Due to some big AML Compliance issues, where in they had to spend lot of money (I have to say that my company was a big benefitter from this) to be able to even come close to those compliance related stuff. Finally 4 brains inside the boardroom decided that they had to get out of this business itself to get out this mess. And so they sold this group to another bank called Wachovia. 50 ppl around me and 450 more suddenly got to learnt that they will be out of their jobs pretty soon. Anytime soon. Must be traumatizing I know but I dont think I can relate to this in the same way. But I guess I can feel it a part of it. First reaction is world's over! There is nothing more left! Period.

Most devastating feeling I guess for me! I guess this has been going on here for quite some time here. But this is my first hand experience to have a look at all those employees like this. Mind you in this case its not happening because of 'B' letter word. Any which ways I guess u guys dont think that I am against it. There is no way I can be.
It was just a feeling which occurred to me when I saw bunch of ppl around me in a very despondent mood. Ppl with whom I was working with in last 12 months. Sad to know something like this.

All of us know that this is not the first time when something like this happening here. In fact I spoke to few of them and they told me that they had faced this earlier upto 7 times. Staggering number. So basically what I inferred is this can happen anytime without any appointment. Does that mean all these employees in US are living with some sort of fear? Fear of being fired. Imagine a place where you go out to work daily with this fear that u may not visit the same place again tomorrow. Fear of loosing everything. Fear of not able to give the mortgage. Fear of not able to live happily. Fear of THE END.

How is it possible then most of the companies in fortune list are American companies with American employees. How do these employees with perpetual fear produce such astounding results to make their company best in the world. Does fear breeds motivation? Does fear in person bring the best out of somebody?

Life...

2005-09-22T15:01:00.000-07:00

This is one thing which has been coming and knocking at my doorstep as a question mark every now and then more frequently of late. So though why not talk abt it. Jus a lil bit.

What do we do our whole life? More often than not curse our present, look for future and praise our past. Isnt it? When you are in school, you want to be in college, when you are in college, you want to get out and be working and think about your school days. when you are working, you curse that and think about your college. So we are in continous search of something which we are leaving behind today. So when we cant see things what we think we want do we really want those things. I mean do we really know what we want? Do we really understand what we desire? Ya its kinda confusing. I know. But I just cant help but think, why is that we are always looking for something, we get one and then we look for another. May be my answer to life lies in this itself. This is life...Strange but True!

My immediate tendency here is to divulege from the topic here slightly and talk abt Satisfaction and Aspirations(dreams) but somehow I'll restrain myself from doing that. Thats one big topic and I think I'll write about it some other time.

Continuing on my previous line of thought. There are so many questions which are running in head waiting for an opening thru which they can come out. All at the same time.

Why does one has to keep proving himself/herself always. Is it more to himself or others? Why does he always has to seek for challenges. Isnt this a weaknes in itself. Looking for challenges so that he can prove it to others that he is good enough. Or is it more of himself to show that he is capable enough. I dont know and I dont think even the most honest of thoughts can confirm that. Is this because of weakness in himself/herself compelling him/her to look for challenges so that he/she can prove otherwise.

"I dont know", is may be the most difficult line for anybody to utter seriously. Its so diffcult to say this when some serious topic is being discussed. Even if we are not aware of something, we will chip in with a thing or two not knowing ourselves whether what we said did make some sense or not. I guess its human nature. But the thing I am not sure of is who are we trying to fool. Ppl around us or US. Again whom are we trying to prove a point to?

Most often than not what we think is always governed by others. Its never governed by us, What we want to think. We think what others want us to think, thinking what will they think.Most often its biased. Its never independent think. There is no freedom in even thinking.
I am not looking for an ans for all these. I dont think its practically possible to even do some of these things mentioned here. All of us go with the flow and may be this is life!

PS: This post has been written in the span of 3 days due to some conspicuous work reasons. Please ignore any irregularities and sudden blips. Wanted to write more but then decided some other time:-)

Game...

2005-09-14T10:29:00.000-07:00

Since the day I have landed in this part of fancy, mesmerizing and rich country I have tried to tried even those things which I dont like just for the sake of experience. Some of them have been Driving crazily for 10 hours, Starbucks coffee, going out and partying whole night which includes boozing and girls etc etc. The last one was yesterday "watching baseball game". Which I neither understand and nor do I like. But then you see I did want to be left behind when ppl back in India talk about baseball and I am just sitting there and nodding my head smiling at them. U know what I mean :-) Anyways first of all let me tell you this simple fact that if you think this is the most original game from Americans. Then sorry. This game has its root in a game called Rounders which is played in UK.

Each team has some 10 innings to play and 8 out of 10 times no team scores. Isnt that boring. U dont get to see any runs being scored. But guess what one good thing was the ground. Astonishingly lush green with 40k people for a very ordinary game. I gathered from there that they (Giants-San Francisco team) has one very special player named Berry Bonds who has just returned after a long injury. People come there to have fun. Hardly anybody watches the game. People were doing everything eating, boozing, talking playing but watching. They shouted when they were asked to shout,they cheered when they were asked to cheered and they kissed when the camera was on them. 2 Seconds fame. Huh...

Does it matter if I write who won? Who cares right. Not me! I kept longing for that one Home run. Bloddy it never came...Never got a chance to shout even once. I guess in 3 hours of game I could count some 25 times when the ball touched the bat ;-)Funny...This one was Damp Squib for me or shall was say fiasco. Anyways. I did not find anything interesting in it and only if somebody is giving me free tickets I will go again to watch the game.

Let me take this chance to blurt out about one more game which I seriously dislike. This one is another major game for them. Ya i know u guessed it right Rugby oops I m sorry Football. And the fuuniest part is there is hardly any foot involved in this game which is not played with balls but some rubber thing of oval shape. Ya i know its rugby in English world. That is one another game in which out of 2 hours players are doing nothing just sitting on their knees waiting for somebody to blow whistle n then bang. 1 second of game every 5 minutes. Some guys may say this is my lack of knowledge. I know this is my lack of knowledge of the game. But who cares. The game sucks anyways.

Wow...After a long time

2005-08-29T13:25:00.000-07:00

Its really amazing that how time passes by...If I look at today it seems as if it is going on dreadfully slowly but if I look at past one month it seems it is travelling on some super sonic plane going at some mind bogglingly ferocious speed. Dunno why I feel something like this. Anyways we still move....

Its almost 9 months since I left my house amidst so much of fun and post wedding celebrations which still makes me wonder sometimes. Y? For what? Is money everything? I know its not but we still run after it thinking we are chasing happines leaving behind happiness. At least it fits on me. Or is because we carry so much of burden on our shoulders to do something, to be successfull and earn a respectable place in society that we forget that there are more important things in life. How difficult it is to leave what you have and stick on to something which is giving you happiness for that short period of time. Is long term thinking always wiser than short term plans? The more you get the more you yearn for? Less you get less you ask for...

Mom and dad are all alone. All by themselves...3 Sons and all 3 of them out of country busy making their careers. Its not that none of them care about them. They do and I am damn sure that they really do. But does that really make a difference that they just think about it and do anything about it. Well they are still healthy and wealthy and can very well take care of themselves with dad earning handsomely. But they miss their children. They want them to come back at least one of them. But they dont ask them to. Should kids understand this on their own?

On the other hand, a building fell in Mumbai killing lots of people. Techie killed in Iraq fighting for US (Strange techie soldier). "Shane Bond makes India die another day". Oil has touched record high of $71 (rounded) per barrel. Still Indian oil prices have not increased.Left in economics can never be on the right side I guess.

We still have some 5 lakh villages in India which are not wired (Read it no electricity). 350-400 million Indians living below poverty line where poverty line mean earning less than $1.08 per day. Assembly figures say 260 Million lives below poverty line but then their poverty would be much below that standard norms. 75% of Indian children below 5 years are undernourished. More astonishingly, Forty-five per cent of children under three are severely and chronically malnourished.. Only 31 per cent of the rural population has access to potable water supply and only 0.5 per cent enjoys basic sanitation. Tuberculosis kills 500,000 Indians each year. There are so many more...

Flight Schedule Syndrome

2005-07-07T11:14:00.000-07:00

Well its been a long time and I wanted to write since my last post. But there were so many things in my mind that I was not able to choose judiciously what to write about. Ya i cant write about each and every thing. Finally due to my last trip to LA, I had something totally new to write about. About which I have not heard a lot or read a lot. But I blv its very prevalent here in US.
Ok the thing I am talking abt is US flight schedules. I have used the domestic flights 8 times here in US after coming to this place. I dont know how many of u would blv me but as many number of times has my flight been surprisingly and irritatingly terribly late. Thats 8/8. Sounds good score but infact horrible service. And its not that I m talking about 10-15 minutes late. Each one of them were at least an hour late and in 2 cases even 7 hours late. Mindboggling. Am i the only one who is unfortunate in this regard or this flight schedule syndrome is very normal and prevalent here. It reminded me of Indian goverment buses and trains which are more often than not are always conspicously late.

Something about ....

2005-06-15T10:59:00.000-07:00

Somebody is getting married soon which is putting me in fix. Blv me this is the first time when I have not felt good about it and dint express it. Rather I should say I have felt bad for the first time that somebody is getting married. On top of it I did not have the enough courage to express the same in front of that person or even while chaating or mailing. It sucks! I wanted her to know that I dint like it but even after mustering all my courage I couldn't. May be its beacause of my good virtues :-)

First few days of my college and I realized that I was very lucky. We had all the good girls of our batch in our class which was really good to see. She was one of them or rather best of them. She wasnt the first one though whom I started liking, because she looked snob. And you bet she was one! I had this feeling then its because she knows that she is mid bogglingly beautiful. Two of her salwar kameer still mesmerizes me. One of Pink color and the other one was purple in color. In the later years of my college, I realized that she was quite open for the friendship and was rather very cool headed and mature which was actually rare to see. Beauty with Brains. And then there I was catalupted to some other level and I know I started liking her. I always had a crush on her but then liking is different from crush isnt it? Anyways could not do much about it though as i knew that she was going stable with some other guy and how I cursed my luck and wished for something else.

I guess she considers me as a good friend. I am sure about this. But yes I know she doesnt like me in that sense which is not even possible when some one else in her life is so imp. I guess she knows, not guess I m sure that she knows I like her but I have not been able to express this feeling infront of her on my own. Never been able to decide on that. Should I or shouldnt I?

I curse my self sometimes for doing what I shouldnt have done sometime in summer 2002 after college. Something happened and I coutering my feelings made her understand which I myself dint want her to listen to. But then again its not always about you, its about whats best for others. You have to keep your interests aside. Again this is because of my good values :-)

Now when she is getting married, I want her to re think and give a thot. But isnt that un reasonable and I know it and hence I am not going to do anything stupid which will even end my friendship with beautiful person.

But I dont think I am going to attend her marriage though I have already promised her that I will be there :-( There is nothing like me getting over this whole episode. Its just the case of you wanting something and not getting it. Nothing more than this. Hopefully!

BPO - Boon or Bane?

2005-05-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

I guess virtually everyody in India knows that what is the most happening story in India these days? Every job seeker in India is running to grab a pie in this field. This is the highest growing sector in India. One can get a job virtually just by doing his/her higher secondary. Lots of liquid cash in hand to spend. This is helping so many other industries in India that virtually every second sector is doing good business and talking of these young professionals with lots of disposable income. Estimated 4-5 lakh people are working in this industry which is expected to grow to 2 million by the end of this decade. Mind boggling right...So many ppl with lot of hard cash...Lot of good times ahead for all the service and other industries...No need to guess I know everybody knows what I m talking about...BPO excluding IT services. If we have to write about the good things this revolution has bring to India, i know unarguably we can write pages. No doubts and arguements at all. This is still at the nascent stage and imagine what good can this bring to India when fully developed....or what bad can it bring to India?

Whats this...Is it a spelling mistake....How can something so widely spoken about, so good for the economy, job producing thing can bring something bad to the country...Am i out of my mind? Ya i can see so many eyebrows raised....But just give me second and let me talk about things which are getting affected because of this revolution.

I was talking to one of my colleague(Indian - married with one daughter, 3 years old) here in my company. Very well spoken guy from Mumbai...Visits country once a year or 2. Came back from India 2 days back and following is the conversation we had yesterday....A - myselfSC - Sweet colleague.

A - Hi. How are u doing..

SC - Fine thank u....how are u doing...

A - Good(missed thanku ;-))...So how was India...Must be very hot....

SC- India was good and hectic as well and ya it was hot. No doubts abt that...

A - Where were u in India?

SC- Blore....

A- The most happening place...Cool place right...

SC- Haan acha tha....

A- (bewildered)Bas Acha tha?

SC- Haan...Bas jo kuch ho raha hain, i was surprised to see all that...

A- Why...Some good things are happening to the country and blore is the one city which can take the credit for all this. Now every individual in the country has a job...Isnt that gr8888....

SC - Haan woh sab theek hain...Lekin dekho ye sab India kya le kar aa raha hain...

A- Matlab(confused)...

SC - Western culture is being adopted so fast... I am not saying that this should not be done...Why cant Indians filter out all the bad things and just take in good things from west...Instead what I found out was everybody is just taking only those things which even west wants to get out of....jahan dekho raste pe aadmi gandi gandi gaali bak raha hain...No respect for elders or parents...Clubbing culture...Girls and boys staying out whole night...Doing all sort of nasty things.....Ladke ladki sab daroo cig pee rahe hain ekdam khulle aam...
India ekdam India jaisa laga hi nahi....There are so many things looking at which made me so sad....I dont think no body in the world from now on is going to talk about Indian culture and value...In fact they have already stopped...Is it really good...Abt the jobs....ye sab american companies keval munaafe ke liye hain waha...India mein salary kitni tezi se bhad rahi hain...
Soon it is going to touch the level of American salaries and they jobs from India will get outsourced to some other chealer country...This is globalization is all about...Jobs chali jaayengi lekin it will leave behind this filthy culture which is like eating our roots...I was thinking about putting my daughter in some Hostel there so that she will learn all good things about India and will have all those sanskars and values very typical to Indian..I was scared to put her in school here as u know how she will grow up to be...But now i think its no difference at all...Its one and the sa....(Interruption)

As (SC's boss) - Can u meet me?

SC- Ok Amit, will catch u up for lunch sometime...bye...

He left and I was standing there stunned...He told me some dark facts about this whole call centre thing....Which is more than one ways so true....

I started recollecting things which I have come to know from my friends...

Westernized attire(not bad) which is getting scantier and scantier even in the workplace...

Attitude of girls/boys towards sex...Literally every girl/boy in call centre business has had multiple unsafe experiences with different partners...Infact I have learnt that during 15 minutes break also in between they try to make most of it...God!

Weekends means clubbing, partying, boozing, fagging and drugging...And ofcourse sex...Nothing more than that...

Even while talking to parents they use words like f__k, B___h, ass____, D__k and whole lot of nasty words.

Live In relationships - Sort of debatable issue...

Education taking a back step as ppl find jobs very easy just after doing graduation or in some cases just after doing 12th Grade. Bad for India in the long run...Isnt it?

There are some other instances and quotes which I could have written down here but the sanctity of this blob is refraining me from jotting that down here. But isnt amazing what can western jobs bring with themselves...And more importantly and surprisingly I have not seen media covering this....Why? Isnt this big an issue for country like ours where values, respect and culture are so important...What is our society getting out of this globally known phenomenon of outsourcing....More jobs may lead to more money but will it eventually lead to more happy India...More Prosperity may lead to transient light but will it finally lead to dawn?

I know today so many independent guys and girls are making money out of this and India has made one big stride towards global recognition but I hope things at stake are not of big problem tommorow...

After a long time....

2005-05-02T12:25:00.000-07:00

Wow!!!I am really excited to be back here. Its been a really long time since I visited this page last and I was longing :-) to come back here....

Some of the very nasty and heart warming things happened during this time though. I'll start with good things....My manager very impressed with me...Interaction increased a lot...Took lots of initiatives myself and is right now leading the whole project. Some of the team members though have almost 3 times of my exp...Feels good!!!! Got long awaited promotion. May be thats the best thing that has happened to me in past few months....Was denied 2 times earlier because of lack of exp.....Well I m not complaining now....Feeling good...Take home has also increased marginally...But guess what every penny saved extra can make my decision of coming back to India much sooner....

Now the series of bad things....Was there in New York for 3 weeks. Though was supposed to be there for 4 months...Had to come all of a sudden in middle because the project which I was suppose to support was taken away from my company....No not because of my incompetency but because of some clients internal problems...Had a very horrid time in New York....No body was helpful in the office...Everybody was looking at me with such glaring eyes as if, if they get chance they are gonna bash me in some nook or corner....There was lot of politics at the clients place and aura there wasnt very pleasing...I was hating every moment being spent there...So in a way it was good for me that our company did not get the project...The more I talk about that stay there in New York more I feel bad...Second New York Trip was a torrid experience.....Glad to be back....I must admit though that one good thing came out whole New York Fiasco for me and that was getting visibility in the company :-) Even if it was for wrong reasons.

Back to the same place and same project now....Same stuff now.....Hope things go smoothly from here :-)

First one dedictated to my passion....which seems to be dying

2005-04-17T02:50:00.000-07:00

Cricket....It use to make my day and break my day as well...Indian team winning was just like some sort of energy for me...I might sound crazy but i was not able to sleep when India used to loose and I know that used to happen so often...

I have been following this recent series even when I am in US...Everything seems to be so useless.....When the series had just begun I was telling my room mates that India is going to win this series without any challenge. 3-0 and 6-0(dim chances of 5-1) hogwash...First day my roomie told me its gonna be either in Pakistans favour or draw... And I asked him how can he even think of such a improbable result...He said he might sound a little pessimistic in his guidance but then he told that everything has already been planned out and everything is rigged. I laughed at him and said God give me break...What makes u think of such highly obnoxius things...And he just told me wait and watch....

Here the series is...We all know what happend so far and by the end of day we will know whether his first prediction was right or the latter one...RIght now first one seems more probable...

Highly debatable and contentious issue to talk about...But was this really all planned or my roomie just happend to be right...It really horrenduous to see India loosing to a team which is not even full strength...Can anybody please explain this to me....How come his prediction is right...God please I hope my roomie is not a bookie or he is not into India- Pakistan cordial relationship thing....

Is BCCI making a fool out of Indian public...Are they doing what they have been asked to do.....Can this result be really a possibility with India at their best with such a inexperienced side...I just fail to understand...But one thing is sure Cricket no more makes my day and neither does it ruins my day....I try not to even look at score but I just fail to do that right now and so i at least keep track of scores....My roomie doesnt even do that....

Y is cricket religion to India...Is Team India really winning enuff for ppl to worship these players...Is Team India really doing enuff to pull 1000's of ppl to stadiums...Is team India putting their 100% to force ppl miss their offices and watch this highly addicted sport in the country...Or is that they are just puppets in the hands of Government India...

What ever may be the reason, its the ppl India who are at loss... Its ppl India with whose sentiments they are playing...Its ppl India who is getting upset with each loss...Its ppl India who are praying for our country on every morning instead of their children well being....

There are still lots of questions which are like thorns in my heart...One of them is like does team India really get upset with their loss...Anyways they are getting paid less with their loss...They will still be paid the same amount of money...We say they are professionals...

Every where in this world are paid according to how they perfom their duties...Why do we place the same principle with them....

I just fail to understand why cant I get away from cricket even after having so many doubts in my mind....Its just too easy to ask...Difficult to follow!!!!

Common Language for India

2005-04-08T09:25:00.000-07:00

One of the blogs infuriated me so much recently that I was not able to contain myself and here I am writing about that blog. That blog was all about “How Hindi cannot be a common language”? Woahhhhhhhhhh, I was like exasperated at my highest level after reading the reasoning given in that blog. It was like some child giving glib excuses when he is not able to do something what he should have. Can be one of the most hideous and horrendous excuses. No marks for guessing that blog writer belong to which part of India….So no surprises there but yes but that TAM chauvinistic and jingoistic tone did surprise me…

So he says English should be common mode of language without realizing that less than 1% of India must be speaking English…That was really funny….People should use at least little bit of research before putting forward such claims….Blv me I am not against South India, I have spent cool 6 years of life there and there are just too many good things about Blore and Chennai….Blore is rocking and ppl out there are very well spoken and very helpful. Sometimes very honest as well… Chennai hasn’t lost its Indian culture and values which is really commendable…

But Still I just cant understand why so much dislike towards Hindi…Each and every country in the world has one language in which their ppl can talk to each other…But here I was standing in Chennai trying to communicate with Auto Rickshaw walla but to no use…Two country men can not talk to each other….Disgusting….Isnt it? I know there is one more event which I will like to recollect :

3 Indians not knowing Tamil trying to negotiate with an auto Rickshaw waala. Those 3 guys trying to work things out constantly trying to talk in either Hindi and English…Auto wala replying back only in Tamil…One of those guys got livid and said “Yaar hindi bhi nahi bol sakte kya”
Auto wala reply in Hindi(shocked) : “No Hindi, No English, ye Tamil Nadu hain yaha keval Tamil chalta hain…”

Man I got the shock of my life….Is Tamil Nadu part of India? I started having my own doubts…
Another Incident
Karunanidhi asking all the pandits in Tamil Nadu to say all those shloks in Tamil and not in Sanskrit. Can we please maintain the sanctity of the Temples?

If I recall my first days in Blore college, the first thing I recall is that I was stamped with this tag called North Indian….Blv me before this I had never heard of this North Indian and South Indian thing….I had 3 students from lower part of the country in school class and we never called them South Indians…I never knew there was term something like this….But yes that’s how ppl from upper part of the country are known in our college…They are beaten, robbed and mentally tortured by the stronger group locals…WHY? Because according to them, these north Indians do all the masti in the college, they ghumaofy all the girls, and then finally during the exams as well do well….
It was like we were doing all this in some other country…..It still pisses me off recollecting those events….
Well I am not saying all the locals exhibited this shallowness but it was on display by lots of them…There were lot of guys who were on the contrary side as well…Really good for us….

Now if I come back to that one common language thing, what do u think is the most suited common language for our diverse country…
Tamil – I guess not more than 5% of Indian population understands this language.
English – Not more than 1%
Kannada – Not more than 3%
Telgu – Not more than 4%
And so many other languages- percentage not more than 5%
Or HINDI – should be somewhere close to 60%

All of the above are my educated guesses and so please do take them as stats…

But don’t u think Hindi qualify as the most suited common language if we have to make rest of the ppl to learn some language…I guess its up to all of u to decide….

here are so many things more I want to write here but I just don’t have enough time to write…May be I’ll write about those some other time…

Please pardon me if in any way I have infuriated anybody...I dint mean to....Totally my point of view...Not even a single person my agree with this...

One more birthday!

2005-03-31T11:41:00.000-08:00

Well This must be first birthday of my life in which I was so dead about. I mean dint feel with every passing day that some special day is coming. May be that is because of the country I m livin in and I knew that nothing special is goin to happen....

But in the night itself I was pleasantly surprised when my 2 roomates got me a wonderful and pampered me by asking me to cut that...That was really sweet on their part. I guess I had an idea about this at 10:00 PM 30th march nite itself when I heard them whispering something but rather behaving in a way that I am not interested in thier private chat and just letting the things go. I guess thats what most of us would do :-) Good start to the birthday...

Then I got almost call from everybody in my big joint family (total no. of calls were 9)which was really nice to know that all of them remembered my birthday...

As soon as i came to my office I was told that I would have to leave what I m doing right now and will have to fly to New York on a small assignment (2-3 months). That was all out of the blues was very sudden. Was actually elated when I came to know that Client has specifically given my name for this small assignment and they wanted me only there....That was kinda very honourable. I was obliged!!!Hopefully this would convince my manager for the promotion which I have been waiting for some time....

Its afternoon here n I dont know where I would treating my friends... Let us see where we go to chill out...Now we cant even plan for Friday as I wont be here till friday...

New York must be cool during this time. Its spring time and I suppose this is the best time to visit any place in US. But again it would b all alone.. Hope I find some company...Just praying for that....

Incomprehensible Situations

2005-03-21T16:09:00.000-08:00

1. Missing a person who is sitting right next to u in the group....
2. Feeling lonely in the big crowd of friends....
3. Expectaions can lead to disappointments but they give pleasure as well.
4. Not to think about something about which you dont want to think but still just by thinking that u dont have to think abt that thing u are always thinking about the same thing.
5. Not to look at something where u dont want to look.
6. To read a girls mind

Any thoughts on this?

There can be more but I have just put down some which came to my mind.

Something is missing in life...

2005-03-15T13:58:00.000-08:00

What is it? A good company? Just that or a good company of a girl...Well I am not particularly saying girlfriend...But a good friend who is girl. Please dont think while reading that its just not possible...A good friend need not necessarily be girl friend...Right! Ok no need to argue on that, its just what one feels...

The life seems to be full of monotonies...Ya I know I have been cribbing about that for some time but may be I am just not able to get out of it...I just wonder sometimes, can something like Blore happen once again...With so many good friends around...That masti, long chats on Bus stops, long rides on Hosur Road, Great bowling alleys where time would just flew, Shyam(our cook) ke haath ki chai, doston ke haath se chawal khana( I loathe using fingers to eat rice but love the taste when it is eaten from hands:-)), Late night movies, Police banging our door in the night due to too much of galata, Radio City 24 X 7, visiting friends place to watch match and then friend switching off the tv out of anger, falling for a friend in your group(nothing could be done, she is still going around with some guy :-( ), somehow find out topics and talk to her, find out the way so that we could sit behind her on her Kine:-), long discussions related to good and bad and ugly, games which we used to play like Pass Pass, class gossips and hadkaana and fighting, Late night jaagran for studies during exams, come out of the exam hall and say this was the hardest paper uni has ever prepared, cursing the leturers, going to theater hall and then make the sitting arrangement such that particular friend of ours could sit next to the girl he wants to ... and just goes on on on and on...

Is it ever possible to have same things ever in life? Tired of studying but this thot and yearn to earn more drives me sometime to pick up that sidey GMAT book and read. Dunno though when I m gonna appear for the test...God save me!!! I just thot of gettin philosophical here abt the god but then I dont want to digress from this topic...May be will get philosophical some other time..

I still remember some days in college life as well when I used to pray that when will this end and now here i m asking for those same days once again. Can we ever come out of this vicious circle? Can we ever be satisfied? But then somebody mite retort back saying that, the day man gets satisfied, he'll stop working towards better things in life? Strange actually! I feel there should be some point where we should be able to draw a line...

"Purani jeans aur Guitar,
Mohalle ki woh chat aur mere yaar,
Woh raaton ko jaagna,
subah ghar jaana kood ke deewar"

By Ali Haider is wat I was listening to yesterday and may be this is the reason I came up with this:-)

Work kills me

2005-03-11T17:16:00.000-08:00

Its been a long time! Ya it has really been but then its been long days as well.
Just get enough time to breathe and today and I just had to give myself some
respite. And this is the best way of letting something out. Well almost! When u
dont have anybody around to whom u can talk to then what do u do? U write!

I have been working crazily for almost a month now for 13-14 hours a day. Its
grotesque! Life sucks!These are the thots which come to my mind when I have
to cook food after putting my ass down on my comfortable chair for 13-14 hours.
The worst part abt my job is it has no unexpected excitement and no remotely
interesting work. Not even "Change" which we say is the most static thing everywhere.
Sadly Software professionals (like me) all they want is money...Just cant deny the fact that
I m here for money and for no other reason.

Anyways there is atleast something to cheer about. My appraisal went very well
and my manager was exptectedly very happy with my work and has marked me
the best possible resource. Hopefully finally this time he'll deem me fit for the promotion.
Please pray! I'll be obliged.

Watch Terminal! Tom Hanks is arguably the best to portray such roles. Cool soothing and feel good movie.

Here is the food for thought....Why do we keep investing in shares and relationship even when we keep loosing? Any thots are most welcome....

Hopefull this is going to be a gr8 weekend. Going out for a party today night! Friend is getting engaged in the month of May....He is really elated...This is his Love cum Arranged Marriage...Can there be anything better happening for a bachelor?

Cricket weekend

2005-02-14T18:09:00.000-08:00

It must be after 6 years that I touched the bat and ball once again. Was so refreshing and entertaining that for those few hours I forgot that I was in US of A. It felt really good and dint feel as if I was getting bored on this weekend. Was surprised to know that cricket is popular here as well but only amongst Indians. MC , BC, presure cooker and cricket are some of the things which Indians carry everywhere. I dont think we can live without them. But seriously aftermath of that glory and ecstasy of few hours was unbearable. Whole body is awefully paining but still I guess it was worth everything. Looking forward to play this game of cricket once again some time in the new future.

Then saw this movie called Shall we Dance. Was nice movie with nothing in black or white rather just in grey. How our life is. Well there wasnt much story in it but then was good to watch. Was defnitely one of those feel good movies.

Then ya slept a lot as usual and again on this monday couldt make to DMV office for the driving test. Sad bloke I am! Have been planning to do this for like some 10 weeks and still not able to make it. Dunno when that determination will come in...

Anyways was a good weekend after some 2 months since the day I have left my country. Something to cherish finally:-)

One more of sleeping and DVD weekend

2005-02-07T16:29:00.000-08:00

After that saturday late night stint in the office got up at 3:00 PM next day...Watched Page 3 and I must say it was something refreshing and new as I had not seen something of this sort in the past. I presume all of us know what happens in the industry but to be narrated by an industry guy was kinda altogether overwhelming experience. It was no eye opener but was a brave film...

I am so bored of my work, its sedentary nature, its monotony, its conspicousness and last but not the least its requirements of looking at one white dumb screen for hours. I am really begining to hate this. Dunno when I m going to get rid of this.

Keep making plans of studying further but god only knows when I m going to materialize this. But what is there I would love to do? May be nothing and just sleep:-)

Might travel to New York again this weekend. Nothing is sure though. This guy to whom I am interacting these days, gathering some requirements for Anti Money Laundering (Supposedly to identify terrorist activities), is some sort of a nurd. Keeps changing the requirements daily and keeps calling me to New York in this chilling winter. Though good sometimes at least get to travel and roam around on company's expenses. Lets see how it goes. Actually he sits in New York and me in SFO and we normally talk over the phone.

dwarfatlarge blogs

2005-02-06T01:16:00.000-08:00

Just going thru some blogs which I must admit are refreshing and not boring to read...There was something written there abt Chidambaram and then abt how costly these apts are in Blore (visible Maintanence valley). Shall I ask them to just have sneek peek at the rates in bay Area(arguably the only Silicon Valley in the world). I assure rest everything will take a big rest.
Anyways its 1'o clock in the nite and I m sitting here in my office writing this. What else can u do when u are forced to sit in the office at this scary hour.
First of all thot may be some body i like will come online and then may be I can chat but it seems things which u like will never happen. Guess sometimes u shud force ur mind to think the other way and then there u go...Suppose it doesnt work like this.

Spoke to mummy today and once again she reiterated that i shud come back and get married...Well i m not opposed to either :-) But still I m not doing either... Strange may be may be not...

Tried umpttenth number of time today to get up early and go for this silly scary and suppose to be hard driving theory test but time i guess will always beat me. Hope I am the winner in this race next time....Hoping against hoep @#$%^ Dunno....

Blast from the Past

2005-02-03T15:27:00.000-08:00

This is my first experience in yankee Land.

I know its little late but then i guess thats ok, Isnt it?Here I go then.

First of all I must admit that going away from India does hurt and makes me wonder Y do ppl(including myself) really want to get out of their country. Really surprising. I guess money is everything. Ok fine now without pondering into this debatable and philoshpical topic more I think I should move on. So as i said when I was moving towards the main entrace of Chennai Airports I could feel something in my stomach. I dont think thats explainable, but there was some strange feeling. I guess the feeling of fright. I was scared of some things and that is the reason i gues i was remembering god that time and i was trying not to think anything. But tell me is it possible to stop yourself from thinking. Well i dont think so. But that was an emotional moment for me,more because my mom was there. I know she some how stopped herself from crying.

Anywasy that moment passed and here I was sitting in one of the worlds most admired airlines.
Singapore Airlines journey I must admit was the mind boggling experience. I mean they serve with so much panache. just had a gr888 journey in Singapore Airlines. Arguably the best Airlines. They have this Entertainment system for each individual where they have put one TV for each individual. Now there u can play video game. U can also listen to some music. Watch some 50 movies, MTV and lot more things which entertain ppl. There was one sports channer as well. But they were just showing golf only. So i took full advantage of this system by watching as many as 4 movies. All of them lastest releases in India like The passion of Christ, 13 goin on 30,Helsing and one Hindi movie called Hera Pheri.

But even with this system i did get bored. Man 24 hours is something. However good the facility is its just very difficult to sit continouly for 24 hours. U know wat I even spilled my entire food on one Korean girl. My god was she pretty. She was much more than that. Luckily for me she dint say anything when i spilled my food. I felt so bad lekin kya kare saale kaante aur churi se khaane jaayenge to yahi hoga na:-)

I almost missed my flight at Singapore(the transit point) as there was some 3 hours
break and i fell asleep but thank god i got up in time just 10 minutes before the flight take off. Sleep is the best thing on earth. So flight was good but was really tiring. I mean sitting there for some 24 hours can make anyone go crazy. Isnt it?

As soon as i got down i realized it myself whatever one of my friend was saying was so true that everything here comes in jumbo size from buildings to ppl to the size of juice glasses. As i took taxi i immediately found out that Man this place is something spcl. Vehiles here ply at the some speed of some 100 miles per hour with such ease which means 160 km per hour. My taxi was like an airplane. These ppl have these freeways here which means that once u get into this road u wont be stopping anywhere on this road. Thats amazing. Saw 4 flyovers on top of the other.
Staggeringly beautifull. Covered some 15 miles till my hotel in some 20 minutes. 13 miles of freeway in note more than 10 minutes.

As soon as i went inside the hotel, I realized that i'll have to use my hand as many number of times as Yogi uses daily. The receptionist was may be the most beautifull women i had ever seen with minimal clothes on top but with a jacket. As I started loitering around all alone i found out that every second gul is beautifull with minimal clothes but not as beautiful as my hotel receptionist. Clothes i guess here are not liked by much ppl as its very hot here some 100 F ( Check out this is Farenheit) .

These yankees here use everything in world which is not common. Farenheit, Miles, Pounds, Gallons and many more things like that. The way we swith off something they swith it on and
obviously vice versa. Then this place is fucking costly ppl. U have to shell out some 2500/- for 15 miles in the cab. Exorbitant amount. Then on top of that u have to pay him 10% tip. If u dont he will ask from u directly. U have to guys.

My office is a boring place with no chicks all desi ppl around talkin in Hindi settled here with family. Sometimes i feel this UBOC is being run by Indians only. I hardly get to c any gora aadmi in the office. Had some work as soon as i came here but then for past 2 days no work. Bas makhhi maar raha hun. Maarni kuch aur cheez chahiye waise to mujhe lekin i dont meri kismet mein kab hain. Shaayad kora kagaaz kora hi rah jaayega doston.

I guess I have written too much for a blog. Hope u guys dont get bored with this.

New York Trip

2005-02-03T15:04:00.000-08:00

I am just back from New York and boy was that great!!!No it wasnt...The reason being I had visited it one of the worst times. But I must say somethings were really good like snow, braodway show (Hairspray was outstanding) and high rise buidings.

I guess if you are standing just next to a buiding then i bet u cant see the top tip of the buiding:-) Then if anybody on earth if he/she loves theatre then he can visit New York specifically for this. They are amazing. The way they present, their designs and audience and tickets everything is just too affluent. Being in snow i bev has its own fun if are used to that much of cold (single digits fahrenheit). I wasnt for me it was just cold very cold and extremely cold. And ya one more thing ppl from Mumbai wont find too much difference in the subways. They work like locals only.

Was actually very lonely there. 2 weeks and and all by myself. Infact have been lonely since the time I have come in this country. I dont have any other reason for me to be here other than money. Ya u can have money in this country if not anything else. Keep thinking about going back to India but lure of my own money keeps me here. I wonder for how long. There is hardly good thing which I can remember has happened till now. Wished my one of my very good friends. She is really nice and sweet. Every time i speak to her, that is when i feel nice in this country. But I must chattin to her is more fun than talking to here over the phone. 3 reasons: one she doenst talk much over the phone and second there are things which are easier to write than speak :-) Third I get to see here face, she is gorgeous. Well to be frank I like everything about her. No second or third thots abt that.

will write more abt her some other time. Can write lots :P

Is it really Required

2005-02-01T14:44:00.000-08:00

well, I just keep writing here and there and then i am not able to keep track of them and that is y I thot of writing at some common place which can be accessed from anywhere. Cool!!!

I think I am just fond of writing and love writing and I would have loved if I could have made career out of this. But I guess u need more than what I am to make a career out of this. Anyways I will just keep this going and keep writing something or the other to satiate my need of writing:-)Makes me feel good.

Some of my friends say that I make sense in what I write though I m not sure they still think like that. Well, this is not negative thinking but accepting something which is possible and I believe change is something which will always remain on this earth. Ppl change, thots change, things around u keep changing, I mean everything changes. Isnt it? But why? What is the reason that everything changes? Why cant be something static? Why cant something remain the way they are. Some would challenge that then that wont be life! May be I m not sure though. I feel and take it everything differently. I feel options is the reason behind everyone else. Everything changes because they have option to. If there isnt any option then no change. Well what a big discovery rite :-) Everybody knew this. But thats not all what i think.

Options rather is behind all the misery, grievances and sadness. Is it. Need to ponder on it more but just for hint. We have 2 options, we take one, quite happy with what we have taken but sometime down the line we think other option could have been even better and we make ourselves sad and that is what is bad. Just a thot!

Thats it I guess for first blog of my life. Will try and write something cheerful next time.:-)